Fallen out of love with running


Ever since my accident last year I haven’t really enjoyed running, it’s something I do because I have to, I could of and probably should have walked away from the London Marathon but I know I would have regretted that forever and I am glad that I took part and I am proud of how I ran on the day, but since then not so much.


I think what I need to do is go back to basics again, at the moment I am struggling to run a mile let alone 5k & the thought of a Half Marathon petrifies me even though I have one less than a month away.

A few years ago I was able to run a 5k in just under 30mins now I am struggling to do them in under 35mins, I got my 10k time down to just under 1hr 5, my most recent 10k was nearer 1hr 16, my first Half Marathon was my fastest 2.26 (if you ignore the 12 minute delay mid way through, thanks Run to the Beat) I think I will struggle to complete Royal Parks in under 2hrs 45


I come up with every excuse not to run, so after Royal Parks I am not booking anymore races until I have re completed C25k and hopefully refound my love of running.


But in the meantime I do have to face up to the fact that I have Royal Parks Half in 2.5 weeks, in an ideal world I would try and come up with a plan for even just a few runs between now and then but with the Shine walking Marathon this weekend (a sore throat, achy body and a bit of a temperature that I am desperately trying to ignore, in the hope that it will be gone by Saturday) its really not looking likely, so the plan is to get Shine out of the way, hopefully then I will be able to get a run in towards next week & a one or two again the week after and then the plan for Royal Parks race day will very much be to go out and enjoy myself, I will be the queen of selfies & take in the atmosphere and the sights.


Have you ever fallen out of love with an activity you had previously enjoyed, what did you do to reignite that flame?


Race Recap – Doughnut Dash, Colchester, Essex

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5 Kilometers, 5 Doughnuts, sounded like such a fun way to spend a Sunday morning with some friends, but as race day got closer the reality of actually having to eat 5 doughnuts while running 5km suddenly seemed a little scary rather than fun

I had heard about this race a few years ago but I always seemed to have another race planned for the same day, so this year when I was on a self-imposed race ban, it seemed like the Doughnut Dash could be a great post injury comeback race

Although I wanted to be able to run at this event, I knew this was a race that was definitely more about the fun than the run (although there was one lady at the first doughnut stop complaining to the poor Scout Volunteers that he wasn’t giving out the stickers quick enough proving we had eaten our doughnuts, so we could run to the next doughnut stop.. there’s always one isn’t there)

I was really happy that I was able to run 5k again before the race, it was the doughnuts that were daunting me, don’t get me wrong I am not saying I couldn’t eat 5 doughnuts, after all this blog is about weight loss, as much as it’s about fitness, but eating 5 doughnuts while trying to run a 5k is a whole different story

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The first 1k was quite leisurely along paths within Castle Park, Colchester, that was until we hit the first doughnut station, huge iced doughnuts, I have never seen so much icing, i’m sure they were meant to be ring doughnuts, but the icing machine had been a bit over generous meaning the holes had been filled, lovely under any other circumstances but way to sickly for our first of five doughnuts

The second kilometer was on grass, I hate running along grass at the best of times, I am especially nervous at the moment, scared of dips or holes that I could trip up (I do not want to hurt myself again) add to that a big sickly doughnut in my stomach this race was going to be much tougher than expected

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The second doughnut station gave us yummy chocolate ring doughnuts, I am surprised I actually enjoyed any of the doughnuts, but being the chocoholic that I am this one didn’t disappoint

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The third kilometer saw us start our 2nd lap of the course and for that we were rewarded with an iced ring doughnut, I found this one a little stale but to be honest the staleness was welcome as it made easier to eat as it felt more cake than it did sweet.

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The fourth kilometer saw us back on the grass, I found it a little easier this time around although I am not sure if that was because I just wanted to get finished, our reward for completing our 4th kilometer was a giant iced doughnut with sprinkles, Jason & Jemma had spotted this one on their way around and had been really excited about it but when they finally got the chance to take a bite they just felt to full to enjoy it

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Finally we were onto our last kilometer and the finish line was insight, I had presumed that we would get to cross the finish line and then eat & enjoy our final doughnut but oh no, the organisers had other ideas, instead you had to stop steps from the finish line to eat a sugar covered, jam filled doughnut

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Did I enjoy the race? I think this one is a bit like childbirth, for two or three days after I was saying never again, now I am thinking, yeah why not, its fun running with a group of friends, I’ll just make sure I skip breakfast next time

Was the race good value for money? I think so, at £16 for 5 doughnuts and a medal, I would definitely recommend this race to friends

What if any suggestions would you give to the race organisers? I am a bling girl and while this bling is cute, I would prefer something metal to rubber

My Lightbulb Moment

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They say that everyone has a lightbulb moment when they embark on a weight loss or fitness journey, for some its not fitting into their favourite pair of jeans, for others its a holiday photo, maybe not being able to do the belt up on flight or on a theme park ride, mine happened back in December 2011, when I was diagnosed with chronic depression, my life seemed to be crumbling around me, problems everywhere, none that were actually mine but all of which that I was being left to sort out

A few days before Christmas my Doctor gave me an ultimatum, either be signed off from work sick for 6 weeks to give me time to rest & recouparate or be hospitalized with the depression

I begged that neither be forced upon me, I had the days between Christmas and New Year booked off from work already and had a few days away with my husband planned, I promised my Doctor that I would do my best to implement some changes and he gave e a reprieve until 2nd January 2012

Well the 19th December 2011, will be a day that will be engraved in my memory forever, its the day I decided to change my life, like I said none of the problems that were causing me stress were actually mine, but each other people were depending on me to resolve, well now I was planning to take a step back, stop putting others first, make some time for me and be a bit selfish

I sat my husband down for a long chat, there were tears, he was one of the people who had inadvertently landed me with stress, he promised that 2012 would all be about me and he would support me in whatever i needed to do to get better


Although my weight wasn’t really an issue i weighed 148lb it was approx 10lbs away from where i am more comfortable, it was the one thing I could 100% control so it was the problem I decided to tackle first, so I rejoined Weight Watchers (crazy right? who joins Weight Watchers 6 days before Christmas) I didn’t expect to lose loads but I hoped to limit what I would usually gain to around 2lbs, & part of me controlling my weight was to start doing some activity, I made a pact with myself to restart the Couch to 5k program and walk or run every day and it worked when I went back to Weight Watchers on the 2nd January I had lost .5lb

The Doctor also noticed some changes, he said although, he thought I was far from cured he could see a sparkle in my eye he hadn’t seen for a year so he booked me in for weekly appointments for 6 weeks so he could monitor my progress

I made myself a challenge that every month in 2012 I had to do a different physical challenge, that ranged from swimming lessons, to running my first 5k, 10k & walking a half marathon, I went on fitness weekends and attended a residential bootcamp and in September 2012 I was finally allowed to come off my medication


This also coincided nicely with me taking a huge leap of faith, after working full time for over 23yrs and having a very successful career, I decided to take a few months off for me, I completed a Nutrition course and qualified as a Level 2 Fitness Instructor, not to shabby for the girl who used to fake notes to skip gym class at school.

At first having a few months off seemed like a good idea but I easily got bored and needed a reason to get up in the morning, it was at that time I was approached by Weight Watchers to become a Leader & I can honestly say its a job I love, but at the moment I feel like a fraud, even though my members are aware of what has happened this year and they think it makes me human, I feel it makes me a fraud

2013 almost passed drama free , but in early December I found a lump in my left breast, at first my Doctor told me not to worry, it could be hormonal, I was told to wait 2 weeks, and then come back, it was still there, I was told I would be seen within 2 weeks under the fast track referral scheme, but with Christmas that 2 weeks became 4, to be honest I never really thought I had cancer but I hated that 10% of doubt that clouded me every day

& I know this is the most stupid thing ever but my main concern/upset was that my dream to run the 2014 London Marathon was slipping away from me, even if the lump was nothing, it may still have to be removed and with hospital waiting lists & recovery time it ruled me out, I think it was my way of coping and dealing with the delay in waiting for the tests, I became fixated in whether or not I could run the marathon

Eventually I had the tests and fortunately the lump was benign, it would need removing but not for several months but it was recommended I deferred my marathon place for a year

To be honest I am not really sure what happened next, work got crazy, I started working a 100hr weeks in what was meant to be a part time job, I wasn’t planning my meals, there was no time for running, but hey i’d deferred my place so there was no reason to run & I think for the first time since Christmas 2011 I had lost my drive & focus & here I am September 2014, 28lbs heavier than I was 12 months ago when I ran my first Half Marathon

& so here I am starting my journey again and asking you to support and maybe join me as I believe whatever goals we set ourselves we can achieve if we work hard enough

What was your lightbulb moment?

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