Anxiety, Depression & Me

images (8)

More or less everyone you will ever meet will have a story, whether they choose to tell you that story is another matter, I’d like to think my friends and family are all happy but it’s amazing what a smile can hide

I’m generally an open book, people have often told me I’m too honest for my own good, I started this blog as a personal journal & because of that I intend to be as honest as possible with it & in this post, I want to try and explain what sometimes goes on in my head

I have suffered from depression & anxiety for many years, I was first diagnosed in 2001, after losing a grandparent, my best friend to suicide, and friends and colleagues in the 9/11 tragedies in quick succession, to be honest, I don’t think I was actually suffering from depression at that time, more like shock, those occurrences are a lot for anyone to go through and deal with, I was put on tablets but I only took them for a few weeks, I was very aware that my friend had used antidepressants in her overdose and yes I was upset but who wouldn’t be going through what I went through in such a short space of time

I’ve always been the type of person to throw myself into my work, possibly bury my head in the sand and looking back that is exactly what I done here & in this instance it worked perfectly for me

Fast forward 10yrs and yet again I was diagnosed with depression, life was particularly manic, as well as working long hours in my full-time job my husband and I had decided to go into partnership with a friend running a pool club business, within months there were cracks in what had been a very good friendship, our friend ran two other successful businesses and it had been agreed he would handle the paperwork we would do the manual stuff, unfortunately, it became apparent very quickly our friend had over-committed himself time-wise, timekeeping was never his strong point but when it came to opening the club, we’d presumed he’d be more present, but no, on the days it was his turn to open more often than not we’d get calls from customers telling us they were outside and unable to get in, if we tried to discuss it with him it would turn into an argument & my husband was doing a ‘me’ and burying his head in the sand for the sake of their friendship


I had a relative who for many years had been very withdrawn & who even as a child I thought had some kind of mental health issues, but had never received the support they needed from his Dr, he was going through a particularly hard time, I was the only relative within 100 miles, I was trying to help, fighting for him to get the support they needed, so I had a lot going on

It was a very dark time for me, I felt like I had all these problems yet none of them was within my control, my Dr wanted to sign me off sick and I begged him not to, time off work would just give me a huge backlog to go back to and I’m someone who has to keep busy, giving me time off is not a good idea for me, time alone inside my own brain is not a good idea.

I was put on tablets again this time I felt a difference within a few days just like this edge had been taken off things I ended up being on the tablets for a year, during that time I made some big changes one of which was to reclaim control of my life, 2011 had been pretty much devoted to my husband and friends business which had got me nowhere positive.

I set myself small physical challenges, I’ve never been an active person but what I did know was when things got tough going for a walk or a short run used to clear my head, I restarted the c25k program, I attended a Bootcamp, I even gave up my job & done my Level 2 Fitness Instructors course something friends from school would never have believed of the girl who faked notes to get out of PE

Touchwood the following 2yrs went past without any problems but in January 2015 and without any warning it started to happen again, this time was different there was no reason for it, life was good, but silly things started to get on top of me, some friends and I had had a trip to Centre Parcs organised for 18mths I’d been looking forward to it since the day we booked it, one day everyone had been chatting about the trip on Facebook & Whatsapp and I come out of work to over 100 messages, now I know that’s a lot but it doesn’t really take long to go through but rather than be able to read them I started to shake, I felt sick, I felt like the walls were closing in on me. A few days later I was actually physically sick when I picked up my phone and saw a similar amount of messages, what most people would just deal with I felt suffocated by, I started to fear checking my phone, I tried to explain to my friends what was going on but when it didn’t make sense to me how could I explain it properly to them so I started to withdraw


A few weeks later I had an accident while out running which lead to me being stuck indoors in a cast for 4 months, and as I’ve previously mentioned giving me to much time to think is not a good thing I’m someone that needs to be kept busy, I went into such a dark place I can’t even bring myself to write about it, I don’t even speak to the girls I had the planned Centre Parcs trip with anymore, I would have been in the cast during our visit to Centre Parcs, the girls tried to adapt our original plans to accommodate me, hiring a car rather than getting the train, offering to get me a wheelchair to help me get around, giving me one of the single bed as I had to sleep in the cast rather than me sharing with someone, they were doing their best but with every offer of help a decision needed to be made & I just wasnt in the headspace to make those decisions, to me the simplest decision was to not go as a hilly hot tub holiday isnt exactly the ideal place for someone on crutches and in a cast, but they were my friends they wanted me to go, I understood that they wanted answers, if they needed to hire a car etc plans had to be made, but I wasn’t in a position to make those decisions, there was a chance I could be out of the cast & if thats they case I would love to have gone, but the thought of being over 150 miles away from home, in a place renowned for activity on crutches, relying on my friends to push me around, spoiling their weekend (although I’m positive even though we are no longer friends they would say pushing me in a wheelchair, having to change some of their activites wouldn’ have spoilt their weekend, me not being there is what would have spoiled it) but when you are suffering from anxiety and depression its hard to see reason, all I could feel was pressure, guilt, suffocation from the decisions that needed to be made and the fact that I could be stuck in a situation hundreds of miles away from home feeling claustrophobic, even typing this 4 years on I can feel my chest tightening, panic setting in that there was no escape if needed, I couldnt just use my usual coping mechanism of going for a walk if I needed some space

I tried to explain, they were aware I suffered from anxiety & depression but they just couldn’t understand & I get that, it’s hard to explain, even years later in a calmer state it’s hard to explain so I guess trying to verbalise it when you are on the verge of a panic attack was just gonna be am incoherent ramble so its no wonder they didn’t understand but it’s especially sad that when you need your friends the most you can lose them because you push them away because you need space, you need quiet, you can’t explain the anguish you are going through, all they see is someone constantly rejecting their offers of help

I don’t think I have ever really recovered from that time, it was my decision to walk away from that friendship group & it was 100% the right decision for me at that time, I instantly felt like a weight had lifted just like I do when I go for a run or a walk but I do feel a sadness that I wasn’t able to explain what I was going through better so they could have understood and given me the space I needed at that time

Thankfully over the last few years, people have really started to open up and speak out about their mental health, its discussed a  lot more in the press, I was lucky in that during my darkest times my husband was there, so I was never alone. It scares me that others could have been in the same position I was pushing away those that care & potentially ending up alone which could lead to an even darker place

I want to say things are better but honestly, I am not sure they are,  I have good spells & bad spells, we moved house just over 2 years ago and I love our new home but I definitely didn’t think through the practicalities of it, I don’t drive and have always lived within walking distance of a train station, trains or buses running every few minutes, pretty much 30 minutes from anywhere I’ve ever wanted to go, now I’m 2 miles from a station, buses once an hour, trains every 30 minutes once you’ve got to a station, my average journey now 90 minutes, the suffocation feeling has started again, despite being outside I can feel trapped because everything feels so far away, I don’t see friends as not only is the journey long, I panic they’ll be train delays cancellations and it will take even longer, that I won’t be able to get home, this hasn’t happened it’s just a fear, a fear that’s preventing me from even trying

Some days I stand up to that fear, but they are generally on occasions I have planned to do stuff alone, like go and watch the London Marathon for example, I can guarantee until the last minute I will be changing my mind as to whether I go or not and strangely on those days I actually manage to get out of the door & I think that’s because there is no pressure from anyone else, if I change my mind last minute the only person I have let down is myself

I haven’t been on my medication for a while when we moved I struggled to get registered with a new Dr so run out of tablets felt okish so just never went back, I feel like its time to have that chat again, I feel like they might clear that fuzz that’s in my head 24/7 and might help me with energy/motivation and general zest of life, I am not working at the moment, I took a time out in 2016 to help with my mental health but in hindsight, the loss of routine and to much time with my own thoughts have had the opposite effect, but with it being a new year, a new decade I think I owe it to myself to start living my best life and to do that I need to help my head get happy again

I originally wrote this post way back in 2016 but never had the courage to post it, I have always been open in that I struggle with anxiety and depression but maybe not this open and to be honest as I have mentioned in this post I am not sure what I wrote made sense, reading it back now, I am still not sure it makes sense but I feel that’s the exact reason I need to post it, not necessarily for those struggling with similar problems but hopefully for their friends and family to see, so they can understand why one of their loved ones has become withdrawn and may be pushing them away,

If I can help just one friend or family member understand the confusion going on in our head then writing this down, reading it over, the moment of panic as I start to relive those darkest of moments will have been worth sharing my story

Whose Parkrunning this weekend?



In case you don’t know Parkrun is a free to enter 5k event that takes place in hundreds of locations across the globe every Saturday morning (normally 9am in the UK), you just need to make sure your register on the Parkrun website first to get your own personalised barcode to ensure your time gets recorded
While many people are loyal to their local Parkrun, Parkrun Tourism or Parkrun challenges are growing in popularity
I’ve only ever taken part in Parkrun a handful of times, but its something I definitely plan to change in 2020 & have challenged myself to visit a different Parkrun each month, starting with my local events Orsett, Billericay, Valentines, Mile End, Southend, Barking, Chelmsford, Gorleston, Dartford, Harrow Lodge and Raphaels.
As I mentioned earlier Parkrun challenges are becoming popular, with the alphabet challenge being the most popular, attending a Parkrun beginning with every letter of the Alphabet, its definitely not the easiest of challenges I believe J & Z are only possible to complete if you are prepared to get on a plane but a little ‘Runcation’ could be fun right?
Or there’s is the Pirate challenge where you have to complete 7 Parkruns beginning with the letter C & one beginning with the letter R, this challenge is definitely easier than the alphabet challenge and could be a fun one to start with
Or Parkrun Bingo consists of finishing a Parkrun for every second on a stopwatch so all of your Parkrun finish times finish in different seconds
Find out more about Parkrun & each of the challenges below and let me know if you know you’re favourite Parkrun & why or maybe you know of another Parkrun challenge, please share I’m all for making activity as fun as possible
The Alphabet Challenge
The Pirate Challenge
Parkrun Stopwatch Bingo

(Please note that none of these challenges are official Parkrun challenges & you do not have to do the events listed to complete the challenge if you have other local Parkruns that fit into the challenge & the links provided are either to the Parkrun blog or to other Parkrun fans blogs)

Don’t Judge a Stranger, You Never Know What They Are Battling

dont judge


I saw this article a few months ago and while I wholeheartedly agree with most points made, there is one sentence that is really niggling me, that months later, I can’t stop thinking about and is beginning to annoy me

‘Every single person in the history of the world has A TON OF WILLPOWER.

You have the willpower to get up every day and go to work’

I have probably taken the sentence in the totally wrong way, but it’s a flippant comment that getting out of bed and going to work is easy, it’s a given that its something we do automatically without thinking about it and that’s just not true for everyone, it’s not true of me

I gave up my job back in 2016 to try and salvage my mental health, almost every day despite having 10hrs sleep I still struggle to get out of bed and when I do I am still exhausted & have zero energy or motivation to do whatever I had planned for that day, even if its something enjoyable like lunch with friends

Whether they are suffering from physical or mental health issues for many getting out of bed is difficult, I remember an occasion where I was sick in a bin outside my office because I was in such a dark place mentally and didn’t think I could put on the fake smile that day & pretend that everything was ok

One of the reasons I stopped working in 2016 was to try and improve my mental health, but I actually think it’s had the opposite effect, I have lost all routine & structure in my life, I no longer have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, to many I have the perfect life, all I have to do with my week is go for a walk, a run or a fitness class, do some studying, a bit of housework, meet a friend for a coffee or lunch, yet all I manage to achieve most weeks is a walk or run most mornings as I force myself out as I know no matter how hard it is to get out of the door, it will make me feel a bit better about myself but that’s it one constructive hour a day

I haven’t seen some of my closest friends for over a year, because I have developed an anxiety about being too far from home, about being on public transport (I don’t drive) not to mention the fact that they will be able to see right through me & know my heads not happy.

So do you see what I mean?

It’s not as simple as getting out of bed and going to work for many of us, just to get that far is a huge battle

All of the above said I 100% agree with the rest of the article, it’s not recognising the value of our goals that stop us achieving them, we don’t give them enough priority, we don’t believe they are worth the time they take to achieve & we don’t value & believe in ourselves enough to give them the time and hard work they need

– I have always said to make an activity a genuine part of your life it needs to be something you enjoy, going to a dance class or for a walk or a run with a friend, you won’t even realise you are exercising if you find the right class for you

– Don’t worry what others think, believe me, they are more worried about their own workout than they are about yours, I actually posted exactly this a few months ago about my Clubbercise class, so many times I noticed I was going in the opposite direction to everyone else, often I stopped just to watch the steps as my brain couldn’t take them in and move at the same time, I am by far the least coordinated person in the class, I have been attending for 4 months and honestly couldn’t tell you any of the routines but I don’t care and neither does anyone else & I really enjoy it (obviously being that Clubbercise is in the dark helps but I enjoy Zumba in just the same way)

– Be realistic with your goals I needed/need to lose 4st, if I went on google I can find a million stories of people losing that kind of weight in a few months, but I know weight loss that quick isn’t healthy it’s not sustainable, so instead I’ve decided that I am in it for the long haul, I have given myself a year and I review that regularly and if that time frame needs extending so be it, I don’t want my diet to be restricted, I don’t want to have be exercising every day, I don’t want to give up the foods I love, I want something realistic and sustainable & something that I am happy to continue once my body is where I want it to be

– I totally understand the I have a lot on, I am stressed and adding another thing (exercise) to my to-do list is just adding to my stress but honestly it really does help. I remember when I worked in the city and I used to work 7am to 7pm with almost an hours commute each way on top of that, exercise definitely wasn’t a priority,

I remember once I had had a particularly stressful day, on top of that the trains were delayed but id promised to meet a friend for a run, we wouldn’t be heading out until almost 9pm, I hadn’t even had dinner, oh and it had been snowing, I really wanted to cancel but I hate letting people down, I stomped around the house getting ready for my run. I wasn’t in the mood for chit chat on the run, but honestly, within a few minutes I felt the stress lifting, like weights being removed from my shoulders and I actually returned with a smile on my face.

Its the number one reason why even when I don’t feel like it I manage to drag myself out for a walk most days as it lifts my head out of that funk, I promise it works give it a try, if you are having a tough day at work go for a 20-minute walk in your lunch break, it will help

– You don’t believe in yourself, you don’t believe you can achieve your goals so why put in the effort, this one is a constant battle for me but what’s the saying, ‘Nothing worth having is easy’ I can guarantee if you were to share your fears with friends and family, they would all have opposite opinions to yours, it amazes me that we can see the greatness in others but never in ourselves, so stop believing that voice in your head and start believing in yourself, start living to your full potential, yes your health and fitness goals may take some time, but that time is going to pass anyway & you are worth it!!

2020 Goals & Ambitions

download (3)

New Years Resolutions…. Love them or hate them?

Personally setting myself goals usually works for me, I try and make them realistic, things that with a bit of effort will definitely be achievable, over the last few years I’ll be honest I’ve failed at more than I’ve succeeded at but that’s life & I don’t beat myself up about those I don’t achieve.


This year I have set myself 10 goals, when I was thinking about them last week it felt like a lot but they felt totally achievable, in fact, the only one I was worried about was my ‘Meat Free Mondays’ now if I am honest they feel like a lot but I don’t have to achieve them all at once I have a whole 12 months, in fact, I have already achieved one and made progress on another few.


On Sunday I completed my Leadership in Running Fitness course, this one has been a goal of mine for so many years, when my head is in the game I love running, I love the sense of pride it gives me, I love that when I’m in a funk it clears my head & I want to get into a place where I am loving running again & loving how it makes me feel, so I can share that with others & plan to offer a free c25k style run club with a local Mental Health Charity

I’ve also lost some weight, only 2.4lbs (around 1kg) which considering I’m only one week on I’m really pleased with 28.6lbs to go – I plan to do a monthly update on my weight loss, hopefully with some nice recipe ideas but I need to up my game taking food photos, oh & I’ve also done my first Meat Free Monday, I don’t think I could ever go full-on vegetarian even though I really love animals, but I feel like even just by doing one day a week I am doing my bit

I have also been given the opportunity to earn some money, my friend Julie has invited me to help her with her online running community Too Fat to Run, I am really enjoying helping out and was already an avid fan & follower of the community before I started helping & actually helping in the group has highlighted another goal which already in my mind needed to be a priority for me in 2020,

Establishing a routine, I really think having some routine in my life will help my mental health too, I don’t have a full-time job so my days are mine yet so often I manage to accomplish absolutely nothing, over the last few weeks I have started making myself daily to-do lists on my phone which I then tick off as I complete each task, it’s definitely helping but there’s still room for improvement

I am so excited by the opportunity that Julie has offered me and I know I can offer her so much more support if I can be better organised, I feel like I need a schedule, I haven’t set an alarm for years & maybe I need to start, be up at 7.30am, out of the house by 9 for my workout, lunch at 12.30pm, TFTR work from 12.30-1.30pm kind of thing, then, then my afternoons are free for study, housework etc – Watch this space on that one

The others are a work in progress, I have a list of Parkruns I want to try and think I will be doing my first next weekend, my nutrition course I have already decided I am putting to one side until February (I want to establish a routine first and catch up on some life admin), finding my fitness mojo seems to be my biggest struggle at the moment, I just can’t seem to find my motivation, I signed up to Red January which I thought would really inspire me to move every day even if it was just for a 30-minute walk, but I think being ill for the first 5 days has thrown me off and I feel like I am in that already failed mentality, yet the reality is the idea behind RED January is to move more as it’s proven to improve our mental health, its meant to be a positive thing but I am allowing it to be a negative, but no more, I am drawing a line & creating a workout schedule which includes all my favourite activities so it feels like fun rather than a chore

I will keep you posted every few months with how I am getting on with my goals, let me know what your thoughts are on resolutions/goal setting, did you set yourself some goals for the year, feel free to share so we can help motivate each other?



Maybe Menopause


I can’t believe it was a week ago already since I had my op, well half of it anyway
This was me about 30 minutes post-op puffy bloodshot eyes after I’d apparently sat bolt upright demanding to know what they were speaking about as they moved me the 10 feet from the theatre to the recovery area (it’s meant to take around 30 minutes to come around once you get to the recovery ward, I didn’t even make it to a minute
What happened is still a blur, I just remember hearing voices saying the surgery had failed & hysterectomy 3 months, I remember saying ‘what’s failed, whose having a hysterectomy in 3 months, are you talking about me?’ I couldn’t see images everything was blurry, I felt hands on my shoulders pushing me back onto the bed only for me to fling myself up again saying ‘tell me what failed, are you talking about me, have I got to have a hysterectomy?’ I burst into tears as they tried to lay me back down again the voices telling me to calm down & that they’d come and speak to me once I’d fully awoken, that they were the surgeon briefly explaining to my recovery nurse what had happened & that they’d be back to see me in a few hours & that I needed to rest now, that I shouldn’t have woken so soon
I couldn’t sleep though I wanted answers, I think I drifted for about 5 minutes before I fully awoke & crying again, the recovery nurse tried to get me to sleep some more but gave up pretty quickly saying you’re not gonna sleep are you so do you want some food
I was taken back to the day ward for some tea & toast, a nurse came to see how I was feeling, more tears, I wanted to know what had happened, the recovery nurse had confirmed what I’d heard in my blurry state was about me but that I needed to speak to the surgeon for more detail
Three & a half long hours later I finally got to see the surgeon, I’d been admitted to have a hysteroscopy, biopsy & an endometrial abolition, they hadn’t been able to perform the abolition due to me having a narrowed cervix, this wasn’t apparent in January’s surgery, March’s internal & external ultrasound or April’s internal examination it usually caused by one of two things menopause or cancer (my money’s on menopause) so they took some swabs for testing & I’m awaiting the results
Also while performing they hysteroscopy they noticed small polyps which they were able to remove, again these weren’t visible during January’s surgery or March’s scan, again polyps found in the uterus are usually non-cancerous but to be on the safe side they have also gone off for checking
Interestingly apparently polyps are usually found pre of post menopause, I have been saying for years that I believe I’m going through menopause but Drs rely on a blood test which just isn’t proving anything at the moment & that’s likely because I suffer from hormone imbalance caused by everything else going on with my periods etc at the moment & why I’m seeing a gynaecologist in the first place
The surgeon wouldn’t discuss what happens next there & then I need to wait for an appointment which will likely be 3 months away but they did confirm what I’d heard that I would most likely now be looking at a hysterectomy as the less invasive options they had tried last Thursday & in January hadn’t worked for me

Monday Motivation


& that is exactly why I will never give up trying to lose weight.

I am not worried about how I look, it’s the fact that I feel sluggish, that I get puffed out much quicker than used to, that I have lost a lot of strength and confidence in my legs since my accident that bothers & motivates me.

We only have one body and I have finally realised if I want the best performance from it its time I started treating it a little better

Hello, long time, no speak… a little life recap


Wow, I knew it had been a while since I last posted but I hadn’t realised it had been almost 6 months.

So what have I been up to, not much if the truth be told


Unfortunately between Christmas & New Year we lost our beautiful furbaby, at 18.5yrs old he had had an amazing life, in recent years there had been times when we had feared we would lose him but at Christmas it came as a total surprise, the day before had been my husbands birthday and we had all had a lovely day, but the following morning he woke in the early hours disorientated, refusing to settle, eat or drink, walking into walls and furniture, crying, all totally out of character, it was like he was telling us it was time, saying goodbye was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever had to do, even now 3 months later we still miss home every day

Life without Ernie is very different, he was one big of the reasons I gave up work last year, at his age we didn’t like leaving  him alone for more than 2-3hrs at a time, if we were home he wouldn’t sit still unless we were sat with him so I spent much of my time with him on the sofa all cuddled up, now I have my whole day to myself.

At the start of the year my husband and I stepped on the scales, neither of us were happy with what we saw, I was over a stone heavier than my previous heaviest weight, of course I was disappointed but I also knew I had enjoyed the eating and drinking that had lead to the gain.

My husband has always found it fairly easy to lose weight, me on the other hand not so much, we booked a holiday to Mexico at the end of March to keep us focused, he set himself a goal of 2st (12.8kg), I set myself a goal of 1st (6.4kg) he hit his goal I was a few lbs short of mine but was still happy, as it was the most consistent weight loss I had achieved in a long while.

One of the things we done to help us with the weight loss was to start running again and we also joined up to a weekly boxing class called Fightklub (I’ll share more about Fightklub another time)


We are now back from Mexico, we are facing the scales tomorrow, I know it wont be pretty

I am hoping to start posting more regularly & hope you enjoy what I write.





Project Healthy Fit Me


I know I know another name change, what does this one mean, will it magically make me fitter and healthier.. I wish lol

The reason for the name change is my health was suffering.

Over the last few years my weight has steadily gone up (3st in 4yrs) and my fitness levels have dramatically dipped, I haven’t really spoken about it on here but I suffer from anxiety & depression not helped by my B12 deficiency which seems to be getting worse & a few years ago was told by my GP I was borderline Bi Polar & while the anxiety & depression are mostly under control, I realised enough was enough, so I am being a little bit selfish, I am putting myself first for a change, with the support of my wonderful husband I have quit my job to focus on me, to continue my Nutrition studies, to cook myself some healthy meals and actually make use of the gym membership I took out in February.

Project Healthy Fit Me started on the 3rd September when I returned from holiday where I gained 5.5lbs, I have always said the dream was to achieve my Weight Watchers 50lb certificate, I am not sure how achievable that is, it will take me to a weight I haven’t been since 2001 & as I am no longer following Weight Watchers I guess that certificate will remain forever out of my reach, but I am going to keep the same 50lb goal, will I get there? who knows but I will give it my best shot, I do not want a number on the scales to define me, so as I get closer to where I want to be my clothes and how I feel in my own skin will be the bigger decider for me, but that’s still along way off so to start with 50lbs can remain as the goal & I will continue to document my journey here



Start Weight 12st 8.6lbs – Goal Weight 9st .6lbs – Lost This Week 0 – lbs to Goal 50lbs

Body Fat 38.6 – BMI 29.4 – Water 39.9

Waist 99  – Upper Arms 30 – Thigh 59.5 – Bust 107.5 – Hips 113 – Stomach 110

(all measurements are in cm)

I will report my weight loss each weekend, but will only check my measurements, body fat, water & bmi on a monthly basis (I am not even sure how accurate those figures are on these type of scales but I figured as long as the number goes down it is worth recording)

Do you have any weight loss or fitness goals that you are working towards?





Race Recap – City of London Mile


So better late than never, last month I completed my first City of London Mile

The race is in its third year and I had heard nothing but good things about this event so it had been on my to-do list for some time

One of the great things about this race is its price tag… its free, yep that’s right, it cost nothing, nada, zilch! and included in that oh so perfect price tag are closed roads, friendly marshall’s, some of the best race organisation I have ever seen, oh and a really nice medal

In respect of races the mile seems to be a pretty untapped distance, I only know of one other mile race the Westminster Mile ran the day before the Vitality London 10,000, I guess people wouldn’t necessarily travel far for such a short distance race, nor would they be interested in handing over to much cash, but I do feel that for the excellent job they do a small fee could be charged for this race even if the race continued to be fully sponsored, so that all entry monies could be donated to charity


So how did the actual race go, I would love to say it was easy but I would be lying, all week I had been telling anyone that would listen that I would love to have gone sub 10 minute mile, then Saturday it suddenly dawned on me I had been struggling to achieve 11-11.30 minute miles recently so how on earth did I expect to shave over a minute off that time

So on Sunday morning as I headed to the race I was feeling pretty downbeat, wishing I had kept my mouth shut all week, a sub 10 may have been out of my reach but whatever the result I was determined I would have tried my best

As I have already mentioned the race was perfectly organised I was in wave 8 and at most races that would generally resulted in us starting our race a few minutes late, but not at the City of London Mile, we started bang on 11.10am, the first few minutes was spent the same as any race, weaving in and out, until I found a bit of space on the road and could find my own pace, I took a quick look at my Garmin just as I was passing the half way point at my watch showed bang on 5 minutes, I was happy with how I was running and how I was feeling, before I knew it I was turning a corner again at Bank and was on the final 400m to the finish line along Cheapside, there was a slight incline in the road, I felt like everyone was passing me, my legs were getting tired and usually my brain would be telling me it was ok to stop and walk for a second but I really wanted to run this mile, I could hear a father and daughter that I had passed earlier on, the daughter was struggling but the dad was encouraging her, just a little bit further, now is the time to dig deep to push a bit harder to go a bit faster, I should have listened to the advice myself but I couldn’t help but laugh and think go a bit faster, who are you kidding, just don’t stop more like, and then I was over the finish line, as I turned to stop my Garmin I spotted the time and it was under 10 minutes, I couldn’t believe it, the second half of the race had felt so much slower than the first, I was convinced I was running slower but I had actually been quicker


So proud of us both, I managed a sub 9.30 (less than 30 seconds off my PB when I was in a much fitter/healthier condition) and the husband managed a sub 8.30, not bad for his first run since the London Marathon 2015


One Big Fat Run

Fat Girls GTR FINAL LOGO (1)

If you are an active user of social media & a runner or wannabe runner, it’s highly likely you have heard of Julie Creffield and her blog The Fat Girls Guide to Running which is the worlds only resource specifically designed for plus size runners, and home to her global Too Fat to Run? campaign, where her mission is to get 1 million overweight women running.


As part of the Too Fat to Run campaign Julie hosts a monthly FREE to enter virtual 5k race & the next one is being held this Sunday 31st July (you can sign up here), whether you are able to run the whole thing, do a combination or run/walk or even want to use this as a starting point and plan to walk the whole thing, that’s fine, as long as we get up off the couch and move!

As well as offering a free monthly race Julie also offers an online running club, which offers support, advice and accountability, and has written a number of running books that are available on Amazon here, I can highly recommend Getting Past the First 30 Seconds & 5 weeks to 5k a course that she also ran live on ITVs This Morning earlier last year with a group of viewers.


I haven’t been asked to write this blog post I have done it simply because Julie inspires me every day,  I am fortunate to live fairly local to Julie so not only can I follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but I also get to see a friendly face at most of the races I attend, the one above was taken at the Great Newham Run a few weeks ago (Race recap to follow next week, I promise)