Hiya & welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I talk about my mental & physical health (or the lack of it as is the case on both counts at the moment) & my general day to day life
If the content seems familiar that’s because I have been around for a few years now under different guises Running Girl Slim, Walk Run Slim & now you find me here at Project Healthy Fit Me, the reason for all the name changes is I have been a bit crap at this weight loss and fitness lark – hopefully that is all about to change.
So a little bit about me
For those of you that don’t know me I am Nikki, 46yrs old and live on the Essex/East London borders.
I thought I would share a little bit about myself and where my life is at right now as even those that have known me for years probably haven’t heard from me much over the last year or so.
Almost 2 years ago we moved house, we moved house less than 20 miles but we may as well have moved 200 miles, I am a Londoner born and bred, I have always lived within a 10 minute walk of a tube station, more often than not there was several stations within that 10 minute walk, now I am 2 miles from a train station & have a bus service that only runs once an hour, meaning I walk, run or cycle everywhere, because the bus when it does eventually turn up takes 25 minutes to get to town and the walk takes 30-35.
I love our new house and I have really enjoyed renovating and decorating the house but it really took a toll on my mental health, I found myself feeling very isolated, away from all my friends, yes I can jump on a train but its not a straight forward journey, like I have just mentioned I have a 30 minute walk into town, a 30 minute train journey into London, a 10 minute walk to another station and then in most cases another 30 minute journey out of London to get to their houses, & I don’t have a problem with the journey there but as soon as I’m there my anxiety kicks in and I’m worrying about getting home, say they suspend the trains, say they cancel a train and I miss my connection, I totally zone out, I can’t hold a conversation, I can feel my heart beating faster, I start feeling really hot, I may as well not be there I am certainly no fun to be around (I don’t drive by the way and its not an option for me at the moment, financially and practically, I know I would feel a bag of nerves behind the wheel)
So I have been trapped in this really negative headspace for almost 2 years, you’d have thought I would have used that time to finish the Nutrition Course I started in 2016, or have focussed on the weight I wanted to lose but nah.. to both, I just find each day a struggle, I struggle to get up in the morning, I struggle to motivate myself to exercise, eat, tidy the house, basically do anything, I want things to change but I just don’t seem to be able to do it.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression back in 2001 and have been on & off tablets ever since, I am not on them at the moment and possibly I need to be but I feel I have spent so much time at the Drs and Hospital in the last 11 months I cant bare the thought of another appointment
In the last 11 months I have found breast lumps, thankfully they were just tissue damage, I have been diagnosed with Fibroids, a hormone imbalance, high cholesterol high blood sugars meaning I am Pre Diabetic, I have had Salmonella poisoning, have had surgery to remove the fibroids, only to told after the surgery they think I had been misdiagnosed as there was no evidence of the Fibroids during the surgery despite by groggy under anaesthetic protests I was discharged from the Gynaecologist as well as the Surgeons clinic, thankfully my GP agreed with me that their findings were wrong 4 months later we find out they gave me the wrong surgery for the type of Fibroids I have and as mine are within my uterus wall & not within my uterus they wouldn’t have been visible during the first surgery, a second different surgery was booked but was unfortunately cancelled because of my Salmonella poisoning & I have to wait 6 months before they will allow me in theatre.. grrrrhh!!
I guess its kind of no wonder my head hasn’t been in the best place.
For some reason in August the fog in my head started to clear, I started to feel more positive, someone I follow on Instagram Mollie mentioned on Instagram that she was going to do an August Run Streak, I wasn’t running at all at the time but as we only needed to commit to running a mile a day I didn’t really have a good excuse not to join in & honestly, its amazing how good that 12 minutes/1 miles made me feel, touchwood that positivity hung around throughout August & September, unfortunately & I don’t know why possibly the change in the weather, the darker evenings but that dark cloud has started to come back, I am desperately trying to fight it, I’m trying to put small routines into place to help me keep moving to help me stay positive, in fact its one of the reasons I started this blog, as I find it helps to write things down.
So that is where I am at right now, I intend to cover a range of topics, Nutrition, Weight Loss, Fitness, Mental Health, Menopause, my studies and my day to day life & I hope you enjoy what I share
Just in case anyone else is struggling with their mental health I have shared some websites you might find helpful below, you are not alone, please speak out, people will want to help but a lot of the time we are so good at hiding our struggles they have no clue about what is going on
Mind
Heads Together
Samaritans
Every Mind Matters – this is a new one to me it makes you take a quick 5 question quiz based on how you have been feeling over the last few weeks and then offers advice on small things you could try to lift your mood
Project Healthy Fit Me 